I don’t run around making it clear to every man that today is International Women’s Day but I sure do appreciate the people who remember it’s significance. Let’s face it, the minute we were seen as the “weaker sex” we were doomed to fighting off second place forever. Maybe some of us don’t have the physical strength of our male counterparts but God damn I defy any man to handle the pain of labour and birth especially since I pushed out a couple large 10 pounders with very little drugs and no surgery. Yes, I went there because since then I’ve taken some serious pain with a serious fracture and dislocation and surgeries and still had to get the lunches made, tend to children and get stuff done around here because my husband had to work and we were down to one income while I healed … oh yeah and even though we worked at the same place, I didn’t qualify for health benefits because they were only able to hire me part time even though I worked full time hours. Yeah….those were just awesome days! But, being feminine allows us to take our knocks when we are down, re evaluate the situation and figure out how to get up on our feet and ride out the tough time so that we can bring ourselves and our family in a better place. Ever noticed when a man has the stomach flu and the kids have the stomach flu, Mom is the one cleaning the puke, gagging the whole time AND tending to everyone’s ailments? Just saying … men lie down when they are sick. Many of us (women) do suck it up and get things done because we have to and yeah, we may gripe about it from time to time but why not? It’s not easy to do everything all the time but 9 times out of 10 we pull it off and pull it off well but unfortunately sometimes all some people want to see is the whining.
I am not a feminist but I am feminine and that does not mean lesser, or weaker. I am not in the princess* category and I know what hard work is and I know how to fix a problem with and without help. To me, feminine is beautiful and gritty even ugly and dirty. It is graceful and clumsy, emotional and stubborn but it has always meant extremely strong and capable. I love men and I don’t have a problem with penises. I have a husband and two sons and I am ever so grateful. I never felt the need to keep trying for a girl as I’m good with what I’ve got. There are many things some men do better than me but I get a little irate when some men don’t really value what I am really good at.
There is great importance in running a household like a well oiled machine. Knowing what you can manage better than your husband and what he can handle better than you. In my world, it’s all about being on top of all things children from doctors, dentists, school, forms (in the world of special children, it’s all about the forms), food, supplements, endless driving, setting appointments, preparing meals, keeping a tidy and sanitary house and helping out at the office and pulling my 25% of the work load there. I know some people find my situation archaic – I mean, right now, and for the past few years, it was clear that my strengths were clearly centred around the domestic and his role (which is filled with it’s own pressures) is to mostly be concerned with keeping the money coming in. It works well but it was not easy to establish at first. Was it hard to feel like the lesser individual? Of course it was. I never asked for a child with special needs but I got one and I pushed aside going for a career to help our son and salvage our family but deep in my heart, it has always been the right thing to do and until both my boys are off and independent, this is how it is going to be. Turns out, I had to work through my feelings about being “just a mother and wife” to realize just how fulfilled I actually am. I am freaking great at what I do and it is so significant and so rewarding that I really don’t mind being looked upon by others (including other women) as “just” anything. I figure if I don’t see your name with mine on our cheque book and I don’t roll over and see you in the morning, I really could care less what you think about me.
I don’t expect a parade or constant praise and recognition for being a woman but to those of you who don’t see us as equals, you are correct as we are far superior in many ways. To those of you who say you see us as equals yet feel the need to diminish what we do by constantly counteracting our deeds with yours, playing “even Stephen”, you may as well side with those who see us as inferior. I can’t imagine a world without either men or women. Each gender is equally important and should be respected and cherished and honoured. We have our day and we deserve it and yeah its a bigger deal than International Men’s Day (November 19th) but remember, we’re still trying to this day to fight off second place and show the world that there should be no struggle for recognition for anyone. Success for our world would be the day we all celebrate International Person’s Day signifying we have truly and finally learned to live with each other inspired by peace and love.
*(princesses – the current definition – those obsessed with looking young with the nips and tucks and the obvious boob job who throw their hands and mini skirts up in the air and have people come running to their rescue at the slightest sign of hardship….those women are not even close to being real women and I wish they would stop talking about girl power…in fact they should stop talking altogether)