I’m Writing a Memoir. It’s Damn Hard but I’m Loving it!

It’s been a long time since I have posted anything. I’ve been busy since Spring 2022 getting to the things I’d put off for years. I have no excuse to put them off any longer.

No excuses

My husband and I work from home and our sons are grown and gone and are climbing the ladder of their lives. Apart from the occasional visit or video calls from the boys that feel like we are catching up with old friends, it’s really quiet around here and it’s easy to waste time. The time had come to stop talking about what I was planning to do and do it. It was time for me to write about our journey as a family living with an older child’s autism.

Taking Action

I did my research and hired a book coach. She helps me organize my thoughts and pulls the story out of me and expects me to meet my chapter deadlines.

I used to think I knew how to write.

Oh, was I wrong.

I am able to use language beautifully, but I don’t know how to write a book. But I am learning and as it comes together, I can imagine what it’s going to look like and how it’s going to feel when I get to hold it in my hands. I am also excited to share how we managed to get our boys to adulthood while living with Adam’s autism because just maybe, I could give hope to a young parent of a newly diagnosed child. If I could help just one parent see that their hard and bumpy journey doesn’t have to feel tragic all the time, my time spent going through the emotions of writing this book would have been well spent.

Sometimes DYI Isn’t The Best Way

Writing a book isn’t something just anyone can do.

I know we live in a world where tradition is shunned and the DYI option is the chosen path for almost everything. Today you can choose to renovate your home yourself, be your own real estate agent, financial advisor, car salesperson and publisher. We have taught ourselves to expect that everything can and should be done faster and all profits should be our own, but in my opinion, taking the slower route allows us to gain knowledge and develop patience.

In my opinion, utilizing other people’s connections and paying for their good service leads to the success I want to achieve, and by opting to pay for professional service, I am going to have a successful and powerful product that might provide help to someone else.

Success To Me = Freedom

I know I am not going to make millions selling my book but what I will do is get this story out of my mind and off my chest. Adam’s autism will never leave me but sharing it will give me a sense of freedom I have been seeking for as long as he has been alive — the freedom to proudly say to the world, it was difficult and I didn’t think our family was going to make it, but we did, especially Adam. It will give me the freedom to let him know how proud I am of him and that I love him exactly the way he is. Most of all, I am hopeful that our family’s story will be the one a young parent is hoping to find. The story I couldn’t find when Adam was little.

Trading Useless Distractions for Worthwhile Ones

Choosing to write a book, pushed me to look for something to distract me from the job of writing from time to time. Knowing I could not solely devote all my free time to the craft, I needed something other than exercise and crochet to spice up my life.

My husband enjoys cooking lately, so he has set about re-modeling our kitchen and I have completely released the cooking to his deft hands.

With the exception of Instagram, where I can stay connected one photo at a time with the goings-on of my sons, I decided to release social media. I had always found social media to be annoying, time-wasting distractions and ditching them was easy.

I got busy growing out my salt and pepper curls. I embraced my curvier fifty-something year-old body and found a talent agent around the same time I hired my book coach. Between last spring and now, somehow, I landed three commercials and a bit part in a TV movie which helps pay for my book coach and contributes to the fund that supports the cruising fetish my husband and I have developed.

The Ladder of Life

I hadn’t been on a film set since my early twenties when I occasionally worked in front but mostly behind the camera. What terrified me then, brings me great joy now, as I embrace it with womanly savvy, confidence and joy.

I don’t know how many roles will come my way. All I know, is that I’m having fun.

I don’t know when I will finish my book, but as long as I am alive, I will patiently see it through to the end.

When I was a young woman, I wanted everything to happen immediately. My mind was not mature enough to recognize the advantages of being patient. When I was young, I thought everything was running away from me. I know now, that everything isn’t for me but the things that feel right, are the things I am supposed to run toward.

I believe the rungs on the ladder of life have their golden moments but mostly, every rung is an opportunity to learn and grow as a person as we make our way to the top of our ladder (in spite of our aches and pains).

Some ladders of life are more concentrated than others, but for every ladder, the hardest point lies somewhere in the middle. If we allow ourselves to give and receive kindness and love … if we hold on tight and keep climbing, keep learning and dreaming, I believe the last rungs of the ladder of life will be the finest of all.